Circumvent

My throat, my chest, my lungs ache from gasping for air. I feel numb, dumb, and dead.Usually, my heart resuscitates as you call my name but, I have gone deaf from all these voices yelling in my head.  I lay silently in what feels like rain; drops of water hit my face at a rapid rate. I’m sure to get a cold.

Good, I need a reason to lye alone.

I bleed, I live, and my lungs fill with air just like you. However, at times it feels as if I don’t exist, my calls do not go through, my messages are never received, and the oxygen I breathe does not turn into carbon dioxide. I have become a person that once was unfamiliar but has now become my best friend. We look the same, we smell the same, we sound the same, and we think the same.

The world has shunned us from its list of people to side with. Attempting to fool it, I pretend to be someone different for everyone I encounter. My guard is always up, even when I’m alone. What if someone’s watching and reveals my true identity? Secrets are kept best locked in a dark room rejecting the world and its existence.

My heart palpitates rapidly as my eyes go blind. I can hear voices screaming my name in my head. My body goes numb, I can’t stand. I’m falling and you’re no where around to hold me up.

Good, I need a reason to feel alone.

You have shunned me from your existence so I pretend to be someone whom breathes like you, talks like you, and bleeds like you, just to realize layers of tears have dried on my cheeks. You always know when I’m hiding; hurting, pretending and still, you leave me gasping for air. My heart aches so I lock myself in my room where the world knows nothing of my existence; where I’m dead.

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