Perhaps It’ll happen in time, you’ll see but, it has never happened to me.

You sat with her as she whispered in your ear. You didn’t do enough to push her away. She kissed your neck and told you how much she missed you. You realized you missed her too. Your senses gone, you were so in love, there was no turning back. You kissed her lips as she placed her hands behind your neck. Then you came home to me.

You knocked on the door figuring out what to say, you couldn’t explain the mess that was made. A mark, a tag, a label, what had she done to you? She made you throw it all away.  I held you close and kissed your head as you laid it on my lap and cried. An apology was given for the mark that was made. So promising, I assured you it was going to be okay but, the brightness in my heart dimmed and it was never to be the same. My heart had broken and I couldn’t cry. I was shocked. My body was numb, I wanted to drown myself in my pillow as I screamed and cried for what you had done. I had never felt that way before and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t look at you the same though I pretended like it didn’t matter. Our love had been tainted with flowers that would never bloom. My love became an obsession. I envied the wind that blew in your hair, the pillow you rested your head upon, the water that rinsed on your naked body. I died that night, in your truck, at the baseball field. I changed, I became aware; a monster. I made your life miserable as you intentionally tried to break me down. You tried to get rid of me you said, but I wouldn’t go away; I was always there. So I left.

 I went away hoping to forget this pain, this wound, this love, this obsession. The distance only kept us apart, though my love grew stronger and Time exchanged this obsession with words in my diary. I was able to smile once more, while it lasted. Your lips still belonged to another and that could never get out of my head. My heart dims more each day but every time I see you for those short brief moments, I feel alive again. Your eyes lie and say they don’t love me but, I know you speak the truth, those rare times, when you say you love more than I know. Your kisses are short and sweet; your scent is still the same. I have never felt this way before; I’m so sure you’ll make my heart shine again.

You sit here with me as I whisper in your ear. You don’t try too hard to push me away. I kiss your neck and tell you how much I miss you. You realize you miss me too. Your senses gone, we are so in love, there is no turning back. You kiss my lips as I place my hands behind your neck. Then you go home to her. The smile on her face brightens your day as she greets you at the door. You give her a hug, you are so in love and I’m causing you to throw it all away.


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